Skeptical Steubenville Shopper

My family went on vacation this past weekend. We visited my grandmother in Weirton, West Virginia. We booked a hotel room in nearby Steubenville, Ohio. Each time we visit grandma, we make a quick stop at the local Kroger’s grocery store. Shopping and scouring the store shelves in search of a super Buckeye souvenir was the only point I stressed about the schlep across Pennsylvania into the Mountain State. I was bound and determined to buy some of the bargain Buckeye gear that is usually abundantly stocked throughout the aisles. Imagine my surprise when the only Ohio State-related item I recovered after some straining and slogging was a tailgating bag. There were no red cotton T-shirts, no Brutus Buckeye bears, no glossy OSU football helmets, not even an Ohio State sticker to be had. As we were checking out and the cashier was ringing up our groceries, we inquired where we could find Ohio State merchandise. The woman totaled up our purchase and looked extremely puzzled. The bagger, a young man with raggy hair I assumed to be in high school, informed me Ohio State was just not that good this year.
I really had to bite my tongue before I politely replied, “They only lost one game,” to the obviously unknowledgeable college football fan. “They play so poorly and lost to UCLA,” he retorted with a smile. “Actually, they didn’t lose to UCLA,” I corrected. “They were beaten by a ranked USC team,” I added adamantly.
“UCLA, USC, whatever. All those California teams are the same,” my bagger boy boorishly uttered. I couldn’t just let it die at that, so I stated, “So because they are not a good team, you don’t carry merchandise?”
“Yeah, nobody watches them. But, I will probably watch when they play Michigan,” he countered. “Oh I see. You’re one of those fans who isn’t really a fan of Ohio State as much as you’re a fan of seeing Michigan lose,” was my sarcastic reply.
He seemed to be getting a kick out of this conversation. I was extremely annoyed by his ignorance, despite his attempt at charm. “The Steelers aren’t having a good year either,” he bluntly remarked. I nodded in agreement and came back with, “They can’t win a ring every year.”
I failed in my Ohio State endeavor and came home empty handed. Actually, I didn’t come home empty-handed at all. Somehow, I managed to buy a pair of West Virginia Mountaineer sweatpants and a University of Pittsburgh baseball hat. The trip was great and I will not judge all Ohio State fans on one oblivious high school student. In fact, there were some very devoted fans in the vicinity. We went to dinner at a sports bar filled with Buckeye jerseys and were able to watch the Wisconsin-OSU game on the big screen as we ate. Not a bad way to kill time in the town where Dean Martin was born.

Parting Points: Happy 29th Anniversary to my two loving parents!