Closet Cleaning

It’s almost the time of year when yard sales spring up every weekend. Garage sales are an annual rite of Spring for me. The intrigue of browsing other people’s trinkets and treasures is irresistible. I used to hold my own annual yard sales and it was amazing how much junk I actually found lying around my house to sell. Today I did some Spring cleaning and discovered a closet satiated with sports stuff. If I could arrange an online yard sale, here is what I might advertise. Honestly, I don’t think I could really sell any of these items, but if anyone is seriously considering buying, I will entertain offers.
Let’s start in my Yankee locker…
A can of flat Spaulding tennis balls, anyone? I found the deflated plastic tube down on the bottom shelf looking desperate buried behind a combination lock I must have used in high school. I think this was the can I kept for emergencies in case I had a quick or impromptu match.
Exibit B: Two pairs of striped, long and thick baseball socks. One black, one blue. These garments from middle school replaced the uncomfortable stirrup socks I was forced to use in Little League. The last time I was seen wearing these was the Halloween I dressed as a baseball player. Or, I could have worn them one time on my paper route in the middle of a cold winter.
One teal Wilson shock absorber dangles in the corner of the bottom shelf. Perhaps I should relegate this small tennis item to the free box.
Red, white and blue are the colors of a Pepsi soccer ball inside a blue drawstring bag resembling a net. This shiny object was a freebie my mother sent for when the soft drink giant had a rebate offer. I used it a few times, but never for the intended purpose of playing soccer.
Another drawstring bad, a peach-colored mesh and not see-through, is empty. It was always too small to use as a gym bag, so I carried my sandals and suntan lotion in it whenever our family went to the beach or pool. The bag says my name on the outside, clearly reducing its value to a potential purchaser.
Franklin blue and white batting gloves that are as stiff as a board. Surprisingly, the hand coverings do not have any holes in them, but they are definitely scuffed. I keep them as distinct memories of hitting a softball. They also remind me of Easter morning because that cleaver bunny would bring me a new pair every year. Maybe someone could get some use out of them as gardening gloves. I will try that as a selling approach as many people begin planting bulbs this Spring.
White jump rope with metal handles. Do I really have a jump rope in my locker? I went out and bought it as a training tool when I was trying to get in shape for tennis one season. I never did use it that I can recall. So, in essence, it’s still unused and has actual worth to playground children or cheap athletic directors needing equipment for gym class.
Worn-in black leather Optima Gold Series Wilson baseball glove. I could never part with this gem. Even if I did decide to sell my old ball glove, it might bring bad luck. I broke my left wrist wearing it. I also pitched a shutout all-star game, striking out the side three innings with it. Maybe it isn’t so unlucky after all. When I first picked the glove out in the store, I didn’t think my dad would really spend the money for it. As a kid, I thought the world of this glove but looking back now, it was just as ordinary as any other I could have chosen.
Wristbands are an acquired taste. Some tennis players wear them all the time to keep sweat from getting to their palms and racquet handles. I tried using wristbands when I first started playing. I still have a navy blue Nike one I keep for the very reason it is navy and Nike. I also have a pair of unopened Head wristbands. To me, it was like dressing up to play a sport and I wanted nothing to do with that. The less accessorizing an athlete, the better in my opinion.
Sheepishly, I confess I had foot issues as a tennis player. I developed tennis toe in high school and it chewed away an entire toenail on my big toe. Gross, yes, but I was saved by Dr. Scholls and ace bandage tape. I’ll offer both in a package deal. The sneaker inserts are brand new and wrapped and the tape is about halfway done. Not a bad combination for careful but hard-on-their-feet people.
Just so my locker doesn’t seem like a pharmaceutical factory, my final item is a pair of Nike softball cleats. They are filthy and my mother has insisted I toss them in the trash. I just can’t do it. My splendid spikes are complete with solid mud, worn down soles and droopy laces. I am sure they can still get the job done because they lasted an entire 5 years of playing ball in rain, wet grass, sludge and sand.
My closet of sports equipment and memorabilia is something to write home about. The first thing I came across while cleaning was a skateboard. My Maple deck still looks to be in fairly good shape. The grip tape is a bit torn, but she rides just fine. It was my second skateboard and I bought it with my own money in 7th grade.
A lime green hockey stick. My sister had a matching pink one, and we’d play in our driveway all the time during the summer. I am almost positive this will never be used again unless someone takes me up on a game of street hockey. I still love to play the game but it just isn’t the thing to do these days. Today I use it mostly to grab something that is too far to reach by guiding it with the long wooden handle. That reminds me. As a project in 7th grade, we had to invent something. I decided to invent the “Ball-cro”. It was a wooden stick with Velcro attached to the end and was used to pick up tennis balls. This was before more sophisticated people came up with more sophisticated products. (ie hoppers). I think the “Ball-cro” is at my parent’s house, or in a faraway dumpster.
One of those really cool giant tennis balls is on the floor in my cluttered closet. You can see them at any of the major Grand Slams in the stands. Fans like to have the players autograph them and they are in fact, nifty.
It’s hard to be objective when it comes to my mother, but I have to say she has always been trendy. She accidentally bleached my favorite Yankees baseball hat when I was young. The navy blue insignia hit the wash one morning and the next time I saw it, it was pink as punch. I was not a happy Yankee fan and I flipped out on my mother for an innocent mistake. The hat would actually be quite popular today with sports fans’ fascination with fancy fashion. Gotta hand it to my talented washing mother for be “in” back then.
Folded neatly but a wrinkled mess, I discovered an oversized Ohio State sweatshirt. I never fit into this 4XL Buckeye basic but had to have it. I only wear it around my apartment as lounge wear and I think I donned it on a crisp morning during a bike ride. Anything with the red O on it should be worth something, right? Woody Hayes’ famous ball cap has nothing on my scarlet and gray over shirt.
Ancient, outdated tennis racquets are practically a yard sale staple. Mine is a junior Wilson in a purple case. Because it has sentimental value that can never be repeated, it’s not for sale. Sorry.
My college backpack sits behind a stack of folder winter sweaters. The book bag is made by O’Neill and is completely empty save for one pen in the penholder. It’s like buying a used wallet and finding a penny buried inside. There are so many compartments to this bag, I might yet find another use for it. But, I am willing to bargain if you are interested too.
Women’s K-Swiss tennis sneaker, size 8. Any takers? They are still the most comfortable shoes I think I’ve ever owned and definitely wearable. I just needed an upgrade after so many matches.
Two racquetball balls squished into the corner are for sale. Asking price: buy one, get one free at .50 cents. I remember when we had family yard sales, if we couldn’t come up with a price, Mom would tell us to label it .50 cents. Her reasoning was people consider a dollar too high and are skeptical about anything that costs a quarter.
I came across a memento/souvenir from when my dad took me to see the Army Black Knight hockey play in West Point. It’s a miniature wooden hockey stick so probably doesn’t have much use. But it sure it cute. Some sucker would pay for it at a garage sale.
Another purposeless item: a blowup Yankee baseball bat. Definitely a keeper though.
The strangest thing I came across in my closet was my 1996 tribute to Andy Pettitte. It’s a cardboard cutout awarding the pitcher the CY Young for his solid performance that season. He didn’t win the real thing, but he will always have my hand-crafted artwork. Maybe Andy would like to purchase this piece?
A shoebox of sports articles cut out from newspapers and magazines. I could throw the entire box away, but there are probably some well-written articles from memorable historical sports moments. I get a sincere kick out of re-reading them from time to time.
My album of baseball cards. There is no discussion about this closet stuffer. It will be with me forever.
So that completes my first Spring cleaning. I might do some more later. Which item would you like to buy? Which item would you like to see me just get rid of?

Parting points: “I’d give it all away if you if you give me one last try”- Foo Fighters, Learn to Fly