Answers in the Aftermath

Digging through the aftermath of 2010, I came across this poem I must have written one evening before (or during) an MBA class. It was in the back of a notebook, next to a pitiful scribble of a Yankee insignia. Luckily, I recovered the scribbling instead of tossing it in the trash. I'm not even entirely sure what this poem means, but it makes me sad and inspired at the same time. What if all I know about love is as good as it's going to get? I used to think this way about sports. What if I’ve reached my proverbial athletic peak? I figure I'm never going to be the same athlete I once was again. Regretfully, I am a self-admitted quitter. I've realized something strikingly similar about love and sports. Neither can be eroded from my memory. Both evoke feelings of sadness and inspiration, often simultaneously. I’ve resigned to give up on both. I’ve turned away. But just maybe turning back time, recalling the past, will keep me going in the present. Perhaps it will keep me striving for something better than as good as it once was. Sometimes the road back is long. I’ve since climbed back into competition and I’ve fallen harder in love than I thought was possible. I think when you come from a place that hurts, you’re apt to believe anything. So my question to this small band of blog readers is this: what answers can we derive from the aftermath? The answer, in my opinion, is to keep going. Believe anything can happen.

If I could turn back the clock for you,
I’d gladly suspend time to the day you were new.
It all seemed impossible until I tried,
Looking into your face I would not be denied.
If I could return to the moment we met,
I wouldn’t change a thing because I haven’t regret.
You were steady and sure with my shaky hand,
Your strength told me you were capable of command.
If I could go to our spot once again,
We’d sure pull off another incredible gem.
That initial advance we took without fear,
Fostered these feelings I hold so dear.
If I could capture the very second we touched,
I’d remember how the pure contact was hushed.
You with your colorful comments so plush,
Me with anticipation from the adrenaline rush.
If I could rewind time, this promise I’d renew,
The pledge to never turn my back on you.
You gave the intimation this is where we belong,
The silver lining I’d wanted too long.
If I could turn back the clock for you,
I’d take care not to ruin something unbelievably true.
It all comes back to me when I reflect,
How can anything else ever have the same effect?
And yet I know something will.

Parting Points: “And you close your eyes, he’s not coming back/so you work it out, overfeed the cat/and the plants are dry and they need to drink/so you do your best and you flood the sink/sit down in the kitchen and cry…and it makes you laugh it makes you cry”-from “Aftermath” by R.E.M.